Signs you’re in a Coffee Shop

What is it about the latest trend with coffee shops. What previously served as one’s early AM pit stop on the way to work, and a much needed impetus to make it through the day, has suddenly become a global excuse to label oneself as a hipster, as he or she carries that Starbucks cup in hand, just to say one did. And its not that this latest fad is completely overrated, the coffee is actually quite decent.  What is difficult to comprehend are those who claim that such environments are ideal for long hours of concentration, studying, essay writing, and the like.

Anyone who has ever been inside of a coffee shop for longer than a quick grab and go knows precisely of the distractions to which I address. One enters with his or her impressive collection of textbooks, and settles in with the intention of achieving mind blowing progress, and thus, reality hits. You’ve got the group of giggling high school girls crowded along the bar stools by the counter, who appear to be Facebook stalking their many mutual male friends, which for some unknown reason to the rest of humanity, is the most hilarious thing in the world. To your right are the two business men in heated discussion and attempting to look serious, which is nearly impossible when you’ve got a red Styrofoam pumpkin spice latte cupped in hand and held against a respectable suit and tie. To the left you’ve got the college boy, laptop open and one completed line into his essay. You hear the pounding of his headset and then suddenly note the second window he’s got pulled up on the screen, and the gigantic list of music videos on his playlist. He’s aiming real high today, and now apparently you’re not the only one who has discovered the impossibility of getting work done here. In reality, one has entered the ideal procrastination-supportive environment. And I haven’t yet touched upon the senseless array of distracting wall art.

For the most part, coffee shop signs remain a shameless excuse for those lacking substantial talent to feel confident with themselves. The sign designs are actually mind boggling in that they yield no viewer’s genuine interest, only the glazed over, wandering eyes of those who’ve come to acknowledge anything but the work in front of them. Starbucks in particular is known for its over sized wall images of unnecessarily detailed buckets of coffee beans With various other bits and pieces of earth that may or may not find its way into one’s drink. These artsy, hipstery displays contribute to one’s over all coffee shop experience, not for their intended feel, but for all those like you, seeking refuge from impending tasks and threatening deadlines.